After The Funeral

After the death of a loved one, there is a lot of planning to do with funeral arrangements and a host of other tiny details. The grief stricken individual is sometimes still in shock and denial and may not be able to function.

How can you help? 

After the death of your loved one, there is a lot of planning to do with the funeral arrangements and a number of other small details. The person affected by the pain is sometimes still in shock and rejection and may not be able to function.

Do not make the mistake of thinking that you should ask the grieving exactly what you can do for them. They are in this deep pain and cannot immediately know the answer.

After the funeral, you may be invited to the reception. You can try to help in the kitchen and throw out rubbish or fix some kind of refreshments for the guests. It can be helpful to congregate around the loved one whether they felt up to it or not and just do things for them.

Bring food to which does not need to be cooked. bring food that is easy to eat, because at this time do not feel like eating much. Offer to pick up children, if children are involved. Take the kids out to eat. They may welcome the offer to perform tasks for them.

If you are close to the person you may have experienced similar situation yourself. You might have some ideas on how you can jump in and help without asking. 

Buy a sympathy card and put a check to it as part of your contribution for the cost of hosting the reception, which should not be too large. Just give what you can afford. Remember, pain has its own normal healing process. We recommend you try and get a support group and go with them if you see that the grieving process becomes difficult.

Offer a listening ear. Some people want to talk to someone, but most friends try to stay away from them to give them space. They do not need space all the time. Loneliness is an emotion that can cause depression. Invite them to dinner, if they appear alone or sad. If the reply to your call is negative, give them few days and try again. Be persistent, but in a gentle way.

The aftermath of grief is lifetime. It never ends. It gets easier to live without the loved one as time goes on. So be a good friend that stick close to them throughout their life.

Your friendship will become part of the healing process. This is the time that your grieving friend needs you most. Don't stay away. Do regular follow-ups and insist on visiting if the person wants to remain alone for any extended time period.